It sounds like you’re navigating a complex emotional landscape, and it's completely understandable to feel confused. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that might help you clarify your feelings and decide how to move forward.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Start by taking some time to reflect on your feelings. It's normal to have mixed emotions about an ex, especially if you were previously invested in the relationship. Consider journaling or meditating to help you process these emotions. For example, you might write:
"I miss the connection I had with him, but I also value my independence and the growth I've experienced since our breakup."

2. Assess Your Current Needs
Think about what you truly want right now. Are you looking for companionship, or are you genuinely interested in rekindling the relationship? It might help to make a list of pros and cons regarding getting back together versus remaining friends. For instance:
Pros of getting back together: Shared history, emotional support, familiarity.
Cons of getting back together: Long-distance challenges, potential emotional strain, fear of repeating past issues.

3. Communicate Openly
Since you have mutual friends and agreed to maintain boundaries, communication is key. Consider sending him a message that expresses your feelings honestly. For example:
"Hey [His Name], I've been doing a lot of thinking about us lately. I really value our friendship, but I’m feeling confused about my feelings. I want to be honest with you because I care about you. Can we talk about where we stand?"

4. Set Boundaries
If you decide to remain friends, it’s important to establish clear boundaries. Discuss what being friends looks like for both of you. You might say:
"I think it’s important we both have some space to figure things out. I want to be friends, but I need to be honest about my feelings and my need for boundaries right now."

5. Consider Professional Guidance
If your feelings remain overwhelming, talking to a therapist can provide clarity and coping strategies. They can help you explore whether your feelings are based on attachment or genuine desire for a relationship.

6. Give Yourself Time
Remember that it’s okay to take time to sort through your feelings. You don’t have to rush into any decisions about the relationship. Allow yourself to feel without judgment. You can say:
"I need some time to figure things out, and I hope you can understand that. I want to be fair to both of us."

Ultimately, focus on what feels right for you. It's perfectly acceptable to prioritize your own emotional health and clarity before making any decisions about your relationship. Trust your instincts, and take the time you need to navigate this situation thoughtfully.