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So, I met this girl in January last year through my cousin, and we really hit it off. She’s pretty much my type. Earlier this year, she went to the UK and briefly had a boyfriend, but they broke up before she came back to Australia 2-3 weeks ago. Anyway, we saw each other on New Year’s Eve at a party with a big group of friends. We connected right away, dancing, chatting, and shared a kiss as the night went on. Later, we ended up having a nightcap together, shared a bit more than just a kiss, and ended up sleeping in the same bed. We didn’t sleep together, but it felt genuine and real. Afterward, we all got up like nothing happened, and she went home. I’m really into her and I’m wondering how to proceed. The next time we’ll see each other is in two weeks at a friend’s going-away drinks. Should I wait until then to feel out the vibe, or should I message her and start a conversation before that? I was even considering asking her to Uber in with me since we live closer to each other than most of our friends, but I don’t know her that well yet. Also, considering she recently broke up with her boyfriend, I don’t want to come on too strong. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this?

3 days ago
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It sounds like you had a wonderful connection with her during your New Year’s Eve celebration, and it’s great that you’re considering how to approach things thoughtfully. Here are some steps you can take to navigate this situation:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Before reaching out, take a moment to reflect on what you genuinely feel for her. Since she recently got out of a relationship, it’s important to ensure that your intentions are clear and sincere. Ask yourself:

  • What do I like about her?
  • Are my feelings strong enough to pursue something more serious?

2. Start with a Friendly Message

Since you have a few weeks before you see each other again, sending her a casual message can help maintain the connection. You could say something like:

“Hey [Her Name]! It was so great seeing you on New Year’s Eve! I had a lot of fun dancing and hanging out with you. How have you been since?”

This opens the door for conversation without putting too much pressure on her.

3. Gauge Her Interest

As you chat, pay attention to her responses. If she engages positively, shares updates about her life, and seems interested in maintaining the conversation, that’s a good sign. If she’s more reserved or doesn’t respond much, it might indicate that she’s not ready for something new just yet.

4. Suggest Meeting Up

If the conversation goes well, consider suggesting that she joins you for the going-away drinks. You could frame it like this:

“Hey, since we live closer to each other, would you like to Uber in together for [Friend’s Name]’s going-away drinks? I think it would be fun!”

This casual invitation shows that you’re interested in spending time with her without making it overly romantic or intense.

5. Be Mindful of Her Recent Breakup

Given that she just got out of a relationship, it’s essential to be patient and understanding. She may need time to heal and figure out what she wants. If she seems hesitant about getting together, don’t take it personally. Instead, reassure her that you’re happy to take things at a pace that feels comfortable for her.

6. Plan for the Event

When you do meet at the going-away drinks, focus on having a good time. Engage with her in conversation, reminisce about New Year’s Eve, and see how the chemistry feels in person. If the vibe is right, you can consider discussing your feelings more openly as you get to know each other better.

7. Be Open and Honest

If things progress positively, and you feel a mutual connection, don't hesitate to express your feelings. You might say something like:

“I really enjoyed our time together and I’d love to see where this could go. What do you think?”

Conclusion

Building a connection takes time, especially after a breakup. By being respectful, friendly, and open, you’ll create a space where she feels comfortable exploring her feelings with you. Remember, communication is key, and being genuine will help you both navigate this new chapter together.

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