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I’m 25F and I’m struggling in the dating scene. I’ve gone on dates and had a few “flings,” but I’ve never gone all the way with anyone. I’ve always wanted to save that for someone in a relationship, but it feels like that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Dating is tough for me because it takes a while to truly like someone, and it’s hard to find someone who matches my pace. Plus, I live in an area where there aren’t many educated people, and I find myself really attracted to the mind. I’ve noticed I don’t click with many guys in my hometown. Most aren’t interested in academics, while I’m currently in my grad program on an internship. We just don’t seem to share the same interests, especially compared to the men I meet in school or with degrees. It’s not that I’m ruling out men without degrees completely, but I’ve noticed this trend consistently. I live in a very car-dependent area, which doesn’t help me meet people naturally either. I don’t have many friends here, and I moved here from my college town in July, so I don’t know many people in my new area yet. Any advice on navigating this situation or finding someone who matches my interests and pace would be really appreciated!

3 days ago
282

It sounds like you're navigating a challenging yet common situation in the dating landscape, especially as you prioritize meaningful connections. Here are some strategies and ideas that may help you find someone who aligns with your interests and pace:

1. Explore Online Dating Platforms

Given your academic background and specific interests, consider using dating apps that cater to like-minded individuals. Apps such as OkCupid or Hinge allow users to answer detailed prompts and questions that can help match you with people who share your values and interests. You can specify your preferences for education and other important traits, making it easier to find someone who matches your pace.

2. Engage in Local Academia

Since you’re currently in a grad program, look for local academic events, workshops, or seminars. These settings often attract individuals who value education and intellectual discussions. Websites like Eventbrite can help you find events happening in your area. This not only gives you a chance to meet new people but also helps you expand your social circle within your academic community.

3. Join Clubs or Interest Groups

Look for clubs or organizations that align with your interests. This could be a book club, a debate team, or even a local volunteering group. Websites like Meetup can help you find gatherings that resonate with your passions. Engaging in activities you love will naturally draw people with similar interests, making it easier to connect.

4. Utilize Social Media and Online Communities

Consider joining Facebook groups or online forums related to your academic field or interests. Platforms like Reddit have specific communities where individuals share dating experiences and advice. Participating in discussions can help you meet individuals who share your intellectual curiosity and values.

5. Be Open and Communicative

When you do go on dates, be open about your preferences and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Communicating your desire for a deeper connection and taking things at a slower pace can help filter out those who may not be on the same wavelength. You might find that many people appreciate honesty and clarity in intentions.

6. Consider Broader Social Circles

Since you mentioned having few friends in your new area, consider reaching out to acquaintances or colleagues from your grad program for social outings. They might introduce you to their friends or networks, expanding your opportunities to meet new people.

7. Be Patient and Stay Positive

Lastly, remember that finding the right person can take time. It’s important to stay positive and patient throughout the process. Try to enjoy the journey of meeting new people, even if it doesn’t lead to a romantic connection right away. Each interaction can be a learning experience that brings you closer to finding someone who truly matches your pace and interests.

By actively seeking environments where you can meet like-minded individuals and being open about your desires, you'll increase your chances of finding someone who resonates with your values and lifestyle. Good luck!

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