Mystery Love15 days agoI (30F) discovered that my husband (31M) has been having an affair, and I'm struggling to figure out how to move forward. For a while, I had a nagging suspicion that something was off, but I kept dismissing it—I never thought he would betray me. Since around April, he’s often turned down my attempts at intimacy and has been sitting on the couch in a way that feels distant, facing away from me. The affair is with one of our close friends. She even came over to my house a few weeks ago and has been texting me, pretending to be supportive. I found out when I rolled over and saw their Snapchat conversation. She expressed how much she wished she could be there to hold him, and he responded by mocking me, claiming I tried to seduce him the night before. When I confronted him, he admitted to the affair and blamed it on the stress of quarantine. He told me he only sees me as a friend and doesn’t want to work on our marriage. After I informed her husband, he confronted her, and I learned they actually kissed back in February. In that moment, it hit me that I might never have been enough for him. We used to be so incredibly happy. Just a week before their kiss, we celebrated Valentine’s Day together, and he gifted us a nice bottle of wine for our anniversary. We seemed perfect. Now, I’m lost. We’ve only been married for about a year, and it feels like he’s taken so much from me without any desire to fix things. I don’t want to leave our home, but everywhere I look, I’m reminded of him. He chose her, and I’ve faced infidelity in every previous relationship. He was supposed to be my forever. I’m unsure of what to do next. I’ve made therapy appointments, but I was also laid off last month, leaving me with too much time to dwell on every moment I thought he was being dishonest or where I feel I tried too hard to hold on to him. How do I begin to navigate through this? **TL;DR**: My husband had an affair and doesn’t want to work on our marriage. I feel overwhelmed and don’t know how to start moving on.29
Mystery Love19 days agoDoes anyone else feel like their sexual pleasure is often overlooked in relationships? Setting aside the fact that many women struggle to orgasm with a partner, I can’t shake the feeling that my pleasure is often treated as secondary. In my experience with the men I've dated, I’ve noticed a few recurring patterns: I’ve spontaneously chosen to give oral sex because I enjoy it and want to, without expecting anything in return. Yet, I’ve never been offered the same in return. I’ve never had a man initiate oral sex on me without immediately expecting reciprocation. When I’ve asked for it, the response is often that they need a moment to “come down,” and then it doesn’t happen. There have been instances where a man would go down on me, then stop and penetrate me before I’ve had a chance to orgasm, showing no effort to provide clitoral stimulation. Afterward, they simply roll over and say how great it was. I’m left wondering if they’re oblivious or just selfish. In my 20s, I tolerated this behavior, but now I refuse to. When I express that I didn’t orgasm, some men react immaturely, and others just say “sorry,” and that’s the end of it. I’ve now established a rule: “You don’t get to penetrate me until I orgasm.” This has sometimes led to negative reactions from men. Even with the best sexual experiences I’ve had, including with the most generous partners, there have been moments where they orgasm and it’s just over, or I’m told to wait until they’re ready again. Can you imagine if I stopped after I orgasmed and told them to wait until I felt like continuing? It feels like such a double standard. On top of that, there are men who seem influenced by porn, expecting me to engage in acts I’m simply not interested in. I often feel disheartened about sex and relationships. Even the men I’ve parted with amicably have exhibited these behaviors.157
Mystery Love19 days agoAm I overreacting to my boyfriend (26M) pressuring me (26F) to attend Christmas at his family’s house despite my health condition? Hi everyone, I’m dealing with a massive ovarian cyst (much larger than a grapefruit), which has caused me severe pelvic and leg pain. I’m scheduled for surgery in two weeks, but until then, my doctor has advised me to avoid strenuous activity, heavy lifting, and excessive movement to prevent the cyst from rupturing or twisting. This isn’t an emergency situation, but it’s debilitating enough that I’ve been on FMLA leave for the past three weeks because I can’t work or move around normally. For most of November, I used crutches, but my condition has worsened to the point where I now rely on a wheelchair to minimize the risk of aggravating the cyst. Originally, my boyfriend and I planned to spend Christmas at his parents’ house, which is a 2.5-hour drive away. However, about two weeks ago, I told him I wasn’t up to traveling due to my immobility and the pain I experienced even getting into their house on Thanksgiving (I barely managed with crutches and was in agony). I encouraged him to go without me and assumed he was fine with that decision. A few days ago, however, he got a call from his mom, and now he’s started pressuring me to go again. I don’t know exactly what she said, but since then, he’s been pushing for me to reconsider. Despite multiple conversations where I’ve explained why traveling is too much for me and how it risks worsening my condition, he keeps bringing it up. When I tell him how frustrated I am and how it feels like he’s minimizing my pain, he shuts down and won’t explain what’s going on. I feel like he’s prioritizing keeping his mom happy over my health and well-being, and it’s really upsetting. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or overreacting, but part of me wonders if I should just suck it up and go to avoid further conflict.10
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