Solomon Cybill5 days agoI (27M) have been dating my partner (20F) for about two months, after meeting through a mutual friend. We’ve already had a few arguments, and most of them revolve around my behavior that she doesn’t like. I’ve tried to stay calm and communicate, never raising my voice or saying hurtful things, but she tends to be hot-headed and often shouts and uses hurtful words. I’ve told her that I feel disrespected, but she responds by calling me childish and telling me I’m not "manly enough." The situation took a turn when my friend encouraged me to log into her Instagram account to check on something, as I had a gut feeling that something was off. This was before Christmas, and we had started dating in November. I discovered that she had been talking to a guy from her college, including audio calls. There was a conversation where the guy mentioned a hug and she replied with "you didn’t rush me at all 😘🥰." I confronted her, and she lied about who he was and tried to end the call quickly. When I insisted she was lying, she got defensive and changed all her passwords. The next day, I traveled two hours to see her, and after a long conversation, I asked her to stop talking to him. She agreed, but I told her that I didn’t trust her anymore. Since then, it’s been about three weeks, and I still feel like I can’t fully trust her. She seems very rushed when I need reassurance, and if I express any concerns, she shuts it down. I know she’s been hurt before, as one of her exes cheated on her, but she’s becoming more emotional and frustrated when I share my feelings. In our latest argument, I admitted that I made a mistake by going through her phone, and she became very angry, shouting, "I’m not an F-ing cheater!" We spent her two-week holiday together, but she’s been distant both emotionally and physically during the day. She spends a lot of time on her phone watching TikToks and reels, while at night, she insists on cuddling, needing my touch to fall asleep. It feels odd because I would like more connection during the day too. I’ve told her how I feel, but it hasn’t seemed to change anything. This is my first time experiencing this kind of behavior, and I’m unsure how to handle it. I also feel like my feelings aren’t being heard or validated in our arguments, and I’m unsure how to communicate better with her.1546
Solomon CybillSolomon Cybill