Ella Driscoll5 days ago My husband (26M) and I (26F) have been together since we were 15, and I’ve loved him for even longer. I love him more than anything, and I truly can’t imagine my life without him. But something happened, and I don’t know what to do.My husband has always been a natural flirt, even when we were younger. He claims he doesn’t realize he’s flirting and never means to. But it’s led to a few situations where women think he’s flirting with them. He’s always assured me that he loves me and would never intentionally hurt me. This has caused some insecurities in me, but he’s always been so loving, and I trusted him.A few days ago, he went out to a bar with friends. I wasn’t feeling well, so I went to bed early. I was woken up the next morning when he told me he needed to talk. He confessed that he got very drunk and kissed one of our friends, let’s call her Jenny (25F). He said they both regretted it immediately, and he doesn’t know why it happened. I was devastated. He kept saying it was just a kiss and didn’t mean anything, but it’s hard for me to process.I don’t want to leave him. Our lives are so intertwined that it feels impossible to imagine anything different. We’ve been planning for a future together, with kids, and our families love each other. We’ve had what seemed like a perfect marriage until now.I told him I needed time to think, and he went to stay at his sister’s place. Now, I’m struggling. I love him, and I don’t want to leave him over a kiss, but knowing he kissed another woman is tearing me apart. Has anyone been through something similar? Should I talk to Jenny before I talk to him? Any advice would really help me. I have a couple of days before I face him again, so any input is appreciated.LITTLE UPDATE: I decided to call Jenny, and she answered right away. She immediately apologized, and we agreed to meet in person to talk. I’m meeting her in a few hours. Wish me luck.UPDATE 3 DAYS LATER: Sorry for the delay, I’ve been busy these past few days. Here’s the update: I met with Jenny at a park. She apologized again and assured me there was nothing romantic between her and my husband. They were both drunk, and it was just a stupid mistake.I asked her to explain everything in detail. She said that after everyone had been drinking, she and my husband were dancing. They were having fun, and then some of the group left. She said the dancing was harmless, but at some point, she noticed how close they were, and she kissed him. She took responsibility for initiating the kiss, and when they realized what happened, they pulled away. She apologized right away, and he said he needed to go and left.She expressed regret and said she understood if I never wanted to speak to her again or if I wanted to end their friendship. She was emotional during the conversation. I decided to call the other friends who were there. Two of them confirmed the story up until they left, and the third confirmed that after my husband went to flirt with a girl, he came to him, said he was leaving, and quickly left. Jenny looked sad, and then she left as well.So that’s the explanation. I’m going to talk to my husband tomorrow and will update you after that.As of now, I’m not leaving him. If everything is true and that’s exactly what happened, I’m going to stay. I love him too much to throw away an 11-year relationship over one kiss. I know some of you may think I’m being naïve, but I just can’t let go of all we’ve built. I’m definitely going to set boundaries and make sure this doesn’t happen again, but I’m not going to divorce him."Possible Responses and Advice:Compassionate Understanding: "It’s completely understandable that you’re struggling with this. You’ve been with him for so long, and you’ve built a life together. It’s hard to just walk away from everything, especially when you still love him. Talking to Jenny to hear her side seems like a good step, and it seems like you’re processing everything carefully. Trust and communication are key—if you decide to stay, setting clear boundaries will be essential to rebuild trust and avoid future issues."Realistic Perspective: "You’re going through an incredibly tough situation, and it’s okay to take your time in figuring out what’s best for you. It’s great that you talked to Jenny and got her side of the story. Remember, you deserve to feel valued and respected in your relationship. If you choose to stay, make sure your boundaries are respected, and make space for your feelings. It’s not easy, but it’s your decision, and you don’t need to rush it."Supportive Reminder: "This situation must feel like a whirlwind, and it’s understandable that you’re torn between staying with the person you love and processing the hurt. You’re not naïve for wanting to hold onto what you have, but make sure you prioritize your emotional well-being too. If you decide to stay, take your time with healing and setting boundaries—this might take a little while. But if he truly loves you, he will understand and support your need for growth in your relationship."11512
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Ella DriscollElla Driscoll