Vitalik Andrei4 days agoI’m a 37-year-old man deeply in love with my fiancé, who is 35. We’ve known each other for 15 years, and after a long friendship, we reconnected and began dating. We got engaged within a year, and I couldn’t be happier to have her in my life. Throughout our friendship, she dated various men and often jumped from one relationship to another, which I always accepted because she genuinely loves being in love. She graduated from college about 12 years ago and initially worked in a lab. Unfortunately, she became ill from that job, and after seeing a chiropractor, she started taking a lot of herbal supplements, which helped her feel better. However, since then, she has struggled to maintain consistent employment, citing her health issues and stress as reasons for quitting jobs. Currently, her father helps her financially, paying off her significant credit card and student loan debt, which has totaled around $40,000 over the past five years. He is now in his 70s and looking to retire soon. While I’m an engineer and can financially support our family, including her son from a previous relationship, I’m concerned about her spending habits. She often buys nice things to feel better, which I understand to some extent, but it seems like she doesn’t worry about her financial situation at all. I’ve taken on a lot of responsibilities at home, especially since she sometimes struggles to care for her son, leading her mother to help out a few days a week. By the time I get home from work, she is often still sleeping, and I find myself picking up the slack around the house. Recently, she complained about allergies, which prompted me to invest in a $20,000 HVAC system to improve our air quality. Despite this, she continues to feel unwell and has blamed my cat, whom I’ve had for 10 years and consider my soul companion. In an effort to support her, I’ve also spent thousands on professional carpet cleaning and have agreed to have my family cat-sit to see if that alleviates her symptoms. I’m devastated because I love my cat and don’t want to part with him. Meanwhile, she frequently makes jokes about my cat, claiming to dislike him, which hurts me since I don’t think she realizes how important he is to me. Interestingly, she had two expensive purebred dogs in the past but gave them up due to allergies right before moving in with her previous partner. I find it odd that she developed allergies to animals she had for years, and I can’t help but feel suspicious about her motives. I want to be supportive, but I’m starting to feel like there’s always a new issue or excuse, which makes me feel overwhelmed. I believe that if she engaged in social activities like part-time work or volunteering, it could improve her happiness and well-being. However, I’m also worried about her spending habits. While I love treating her to lavish trips and dining out regularly, it feels like nothing I do is ever enough. I’m beginning to feel burnt out and sad, as if my feelings don’t matter and there’s a lack of compromise in our relationship. I really need some guidance on how to navigate this situation.1246
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Vitalik AndreiVitalik Andrei