Bronwyn Justin3 days agoMy fiancé (26F) and I (28M) have always split expenses 50-50, regardless of our income levels. During the COVID period, she was working as a travel nurse and made significantly more money than I did, making around $190,000 a year, while I earned about $100,000. She was able to save up a lot during that time, which I was very happy for her about. However, about two years ago, due to stress, she took a significantly lower-paying job and now makes around $85,000 per year. Over the past year, we’ve been discussing marriage and planning for our future, including buying a house. She was recently in a car accident and received a payout of $30,000 for her totaled car, but after paying off the car, she netted around $22,000. When we talked about buying a new car, I suggested something in the range of $20,000-$35,000, but she ended up purchasing a $55,000 car. I protested the purchase because I believed it would delay our financial goals, like buying our first house within the next two years. She also has expensive tastes when it comes to houses, so I was concerned about the impact on our finances. At this point, I’m making around $150,000 annually, and she’s making $85,000. I’ve always driven a modest car, paid off for two years, and felt that buying a $55,000 car was an unnecessary expense, especially when we have shared financial goals. I told her that we could prioritize the house first and that after we’re settled, she could get a luxury car, but she insisted on purchasing the expensive car. Since I started earning $150,000, our expense split has shifted to 70/30, with me covering the larger portion because her monthly expenses are higher. After she bought the expensive car, I mentioned that since she can afford those luxuries, it didn’t make sense for me to continue paying a larger share, and suggested we go back to a 50/50 split. She responded by accusing me of being financially abusive, even though when she was making more than me, we always went 50/50. This has really made me question whether this relationship is the right fit. I value financial responsibility, and it’s frustrating to feel like our financial priorities aren’t aligned.1245
Bronwyn JustinBronwyn Justin